An Invocation For 2018

A person's feet surrounded by broken debris

May I fail in 2018.

May I fail every single day. May I fail, and fail, and fail again.

Each time I fail, may I rise back up, only to fail again.

Each time I fail, may I lean in to embrace my failure and thank it for the gift that it is.

May I fill my year with many little failures, but may I fail spectacularly, too.

May I immerse myself in glorious failure until I have surrounded myself in the casualties of my efforts, until there is nothing but failure as far as the eye can see, until I have all but drowned myself in it.

And if I fail again — when I fail again — when I have failed so many times that I stand on the edge of giving up… let me fail one more time.

And then one more.

And another.

And for every hundred of those failures — for every thousand — may I see just one success.

Until the bodies of my failures have piled one on top of the other and become a mountain, may I never stop failing, until I can stand on top of that mountain and look down to see that they’re not failures at all, but the steady rocks I needed to lay to reach its summit.

And then?

Then may I fail another time, another mountain, until I have built an entire mountain range, and I can stand at the highest peak and look back on my failures and smile at how beautiful they have become.

These failures will scare me. But no matter how afraid I am, may I never become so afraid to fail that I never try at all.

That is the only real failure.

May I remember that when I am at my lowest and most afraid, even if I have to look back at this to remind me.

I hope you fail in 2018, too.

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